Gag bag

This is just one of those shitty posts you feel like posting cause some random thought came to your mind. There is nothing noteworthy about this post, nor is it going to affect anyone’s life in any small way. It is just going to stay as some random collection of words for eternity hereon (or atleast until Blogspot keeps hosting this). If at all we were to be ever invaded by some other living/non-living form, and one of their researchers lays its hands on this piece of garbage, then it might get stumped at first sight at the randomness or the sheer nonsense of thoughts being put into writ. But then again, it may just think of this as the missing piece of some stupid puzzle they think humans are, and might go after deciphering it for years to come, during which they put all their resources into just trying to understand the context or situation under which a human might be provoked into writing such an article. During this time, they might end up neglecting all other tasks or ways in which they could have progressed and hence they might fall behind in the race to make it to the top of the food/power pyramid. Eventually, the small settlement of humans who had evaded captivity might catch up and destroy/vanquish these life forms and thus get the power back. Some human might then go about into looking for clues as to why the life forms gave up progress and ended up losing to a small group of humans whom they should have easily defeated, and in his/her quest to find the real answer, might end up with this article as the missing piece of the puzzle which so might be boggling them at that time. So a not so great/ utter rubbish article might suddenly end up taking a whole lot of importance in the years to come and thus will one day end up on a handmade paper with black calligraphic ink inside a frame made of solid gold sitting proudly on top of the tower depicting victory of humans over other life forms. Such is the deep philosophy with which the text you might end up reading is written.

So yes, coming back to the statement the heading makes, a good coffee and a bad coffee. Do you ever feel like you have a good coffee and a bad coffee day? I have always enjoyed coffee as something of a sinful experience with lots of sugar and whipped cream and chocolate sauce and cream rather than the “eye-opener” people view it as. For me, coffee has always been a way to laze around, relax, enjoy at the end of the day. Since I started working however, I have realized that the primary purpose of coffee is exactly the opposite. It is supposed to be everything other than a concoction of gustatory indulgence. It is supposed to be this bitter, strong, hot, non-creamy watery piece of brown water which wakes you up even if you are half asleep and puts you into turbo/overdrive mode. It acts like these toothpicks which keep your eyelids open and don’t allow you to sleep and with every sip you take, it sends a shock-wave down your spine which makes you shiver as if you are expelling the last fluid dram of renal waste. It is supposed to be an experience which takes all your pain and anguish and boredom away from you since now all you think and care about is the coffee which you have to keep gulping to bury the taste of the last gulp you took.

Hence, when I took the first cup of coffee, I was blown away in disbelief with the kind of liquid people make themselves go through with just to keep awake. A better, and a more tried and tested way to keep awake is to sleep better and to wake up to nice and happy and blue sky day. But then, that is not always possible, and hence we come to the good coffee part.

So yes, when I was exposed to this cup of coffee, my faith in coffee totally decimated, since for about two days, I couldn't get myself around the horrible taste to which I was put to trial. When much fluoride toothpaste was used, and a lot of gum was chewed, and when my tongue no longer could feel the burn on its edges, I was willing to wade into the coffee waters again. This time though, I was going with my own weapons. Sugar, cream and lots of sugar and cream. And yes, cream and sugar! When there was just the that’s-its-perfect-level of coffee which I wanted, I sat down, and took one sip, and for about 1 minute, was spellbound with wonder. The taste left me in a place which hasn't been christened as yet for absence of words which portray the beauty of the land. For about 30 minutes from then on, I was on such high spirits, nothing could bring me down. And then, just as it was there, it was gone. The cup was totally empty and no optimist or pessimist could say otherwise. Everyone was brought back to level earth and I was there, waiting for it to be 3 O clock when I could fill myself another cup.

Come 3 O clock and I promptly got up and went to the thermos that was just recently filled with freshly brewed hot coffee. It had a nice post-it with a label saying “I fell”, something which might confuse the virgin, but to the expert eye, it quickly said that it was the French Roast. It proudly sat next to another thermos with a similar looking post-it saying “It took years and years to build this one”, which again was quickly reduced to Italian Roast to the trained eye. I promptly went ahead, filled my cup with a “Ho-Ho-Ho” (Christmas blend, just in case you missed this one), looking around with an air of arrogance towards those who in my mind hadn't quite deciphered the true meaning and taste of coffee and sighing loudly in sympathy towards the ignorant. I then proceeded to add my dash and dots of sugar and cream, whipped out a stirrer from amongst the bunch of other stirrers and plopped it into the white and black drink and stirred till I saw the familiar coffee color. With an aroma that tingled my nostrils, I hopped back to my desk and sat down whilst taking in the first sip. As the liquid touched my tongue, there arose an opportune moment to tell one of the most interesting stories of all times…