Gag bag

I was on this trip to Diveagar this weekend. And along the drive I experienced how someone so very strange, unknown can be so close just for the time-being. Ok, before you start judging and making up your own stories, let’s get to the fact.

On our way back, we took up the Tamhini Ghat road for Pune. We started at 5:30pm, and it being the winter season, it was quite obvious that we would be driving in the night time mostly. The tamhini ghat is as such dangerous, as there are no lights, and no villages on the way across the whole ghat region. So once you start, for the next 2 hrs, forget coming across a place to rest, take a break, fill petrol, get help and so on. Not even a light snack is possible. All along the road, there was hardly any car, and the darkness and the starry sky and the cold breeze were adding to the eeriness.

Cruising along, I came across a Tavera which was going in the same direction as ours, and at this time, I found a good friend in him. I followed it continuously, for want of someone to be leading me in the dark and curvy road, with no road signs to guide. Intrinsically we both were keeping the distance between us such that we don’t lose each other, without having to tell this to one another. After a while, he signaled to me to lead him, and I gladly took up the position to lead kindly light. It felt nice to help and be helped. And it is true that we never will meet each other, never might come across each other. We never did meet each other too that day as well, but for those 2hrs, it felt as if we were the best of friends on our way to a picnic. Sometimes you find people in the most strangest of all places, and they become the sole factor for enduring through that time. Some say this is what life is, I say this is Vasudhaivva Kutumbakamm, the motto of Symbiosis.

Well, just wondered. What do you do if you are in an area where you don't want to be seen? Do you stay still where you are? Or do you keep moving?

Hmmm. I think you should keep moving! This I can say, only because I have heard that if you want to be found (when you are lost), then it is said that you stay still where you are! That helps in easier and faster search.

Don't know. Can this be proved mathematically? Statistically? Just a musing...

Kill me, kill me now,
You bang your fist and get up.
You hate everything, everyone,
You hate the lunch, the same old tea cup.
You hate the screen, the keyboard, the mouse
Which you can't live without while in your house.
The easy chair, which you so adore,
Suddenly doesn’t seem that easy anymore.

You came here, on your own.
Priding yourself, you were so very sure.
You awed the magnanimity, everything looked so perfect.
Your joy was beyond measure, and so so pure.
But all that vanished,
All the promises were suddenly hollow.
You feel cheated, is this what you had thought?
You know very well though, this is what you asked for, and that is what you got.

You don’t understand, you just stare.
You want to pity yourself, you want someone to feel your plight,
You feel no one understands you, that there
is no one who can now set things right.
You feel only you are going through this torture
That only you are being fired at from all around.
You feel its only you who is gagged,
And the only one who is bound.

Look around dear,
You will see a hundred thousand more of you,
All of them caught up in the same jam,
In the same mess which you are into.
They are stupid not to complain!
They are crazy not to protest!
But the moment you get that paycheck,
You forget all the rest.

Why not learn to enjoy the other things in life,
Than crib over the ones you can't change.
Why not fix things which are in your reach,
Than try going for something out of your range?
You have got everything you wanted,
A great family, good friends,
You have the strength to find openings,
In even the most horrifying of dead-ends.

You have experienced victories like none other,
You have achieved that which others only dream.
You are the candy of every eye, the envy of every mind,
Your life is a birthday cake, with lots of extra cream.
For a perfect life, there isn’t much more,
And internally you know it too!
All you lack is a little strength to face it,
Or rather, the strength to accept it.

Life can't be all that goody goody.
It has to be a bit bumpy too.
After all how can you feel the soft petal,
If a thorn has never pricked you.
There is the day always awaiting,
After the darkest of the night.
When Mr. Bachchan said “Need ka nirman fir fir, neh ka awhan fir fir”.
Didn’t we all praise him for being so very right?

Pride yourself for having so much.
Hope for more, yearn for more.
Strive towards it, achieve it.
You know you can and you will, for you always have.
Feel yourself to be lucky,
Things for you have always been safe and warm and nice.
There are millions others who will give up anything,
To be in your place, to be you, without thinking twice.

Take it easy kid, relax!
Leave your worries for tomorrow.
Take rest today, smile, laugh, help and get helped.
For you know, that there is joy after every sorrow.
Forget the tensions, the pressures and the deadlines!
They are here to come and go.
Enjoy the small things when they are here,
That smile makes your face radiate brighter than the sun you know!

I have had this thought many a times. Well, as we know, I rant on it many a times. But I find it very hard to fathom, that with the new demands that the companies ask of from their employees now, there is no one at home to take care of the kids. And personally, I find it very wrong, cause there should be someone, and that too someone from home itself, who should be raising the kid, rather than have baby sitters to do the same.

We can't expect the child to grow up and be instilled with qualities and characters similar to us if we play no part in its upbringing. And that is very wrong, cause be it however you are, I think everyone wants to raise and spoil their baby in a very personalized way. And the new world as such knows this, accepts this, but does nothing in order to solve it!

The society should change. New norms must be put forth. The work hours should be reduced, or atleast adjusted so that at a time, there is atleast one parent taking care of the baby, of one another. The increase in the divorces, the spoilt children isn’t just a coincidence. It’s a direct effect of the entire corporate blow up we experience now a days. Everyone feels about it, everyone knows its wrong, but no one does a thing about it. This directly leads to the woman in the house giving up her job, her dream in order to fulfill her other dream. Isn’t that wrong? Should the father not have a equal role to play? Is money earning the only job he has to complete, with everything else left to the mother?

There are ways to counter this, even in the current scenario. And I think for this, there should be growth in the minds of the father (or the male ego). One of the great things about a woman is the maturity she shows as she grows and feels that the family is her responsibility. There should be a similar growth among boys, to feel for their family, to help out in activities and to make everyone feel that well besides just the money, there are a lot of ways in which one can make the household feel more homely.

The thing getting lost in all this is the time people can give to one another. After working from 9 to 7, I don’t think any sane person can expect to come home all fresh and then cook up the best meal in the life, have the best movie played on TV and watch it, and then go to sleep early to get up early again. This is mere fantasy. There is a lot to housework than just cooking, and there is a sense of realization that should come up within the individual that well, as much as I am tired, I have to help at home too, because this isn’t a one persons job.

Another thing to realize is that well, since we don’t get time for another, why not spend time doing chores together. It is faster, more fun, and easier and leads to work getting completed too. The worst scene to see is the husband coming home, changing, and putting on the TV, sitting there, relaxing while his wife is busy making arrangements. Then he eats, finishes with some anger from the company being thrown about casually on the family members, and then get up. Leave. And log on to the internet, make a few calls under the pretext of work. Well ya, all that is important too, but think of all the things you are putting at stake while doing all this.

It’s difficult to cope up with the tension. And the obvious way to come out with it is anger. As much as it is right, one must not forget that all this is the same thing going on with the other person too! And instead of resolving things with anger, there are many better ways to calm you off, cool yourself down than this.

Well, not much use after ranting on endlessly. But all I want to say is as we are advancing on all fronts; one of the major short-comings has been growth on the male side. And it is this which atleast boys need to work on. We call ourselves forward, we call ourselves that we are improving with the days needs, but are we really?

I have had this gut feeling,
something surely isn't right.
The world no longer reacts,
the way it did last night.

I fail to find fragrance,
in a flower that attracts every bee.
Even the touch-me-not shieded away,
when I just went to see.

What is wrong, what has changed?
I wonder.
Did I hurt someone, do I deserve this,
Is all I can ponder.

I hate myself, I hate everything around.
I try to cope up with this mess,
by getting angry, breaking a few things.
But everything is the same, more or less.

Sometime ago, when all was fine,
there was this brightness all around.
Now even the loudest shout from me,
fails to create any sound.

Whom do I run to for shelter?
On whose door should I knock on?
The smiling greeting faces a few days back,
even they have their curtains on.

Involve me in something.
Talk to me, shout at me, hit me!
I will prefer all those over,
these poisoned darts aimed at me.

With hope that all will be fine,
I lay down on my bed.
If this is what I have to endure the next day,
I think I would prefer being dead.

Pitch dark, the eyes are shut,
you have your own world.
A place where all's possible, but
only as long as you lie blissfully curled.

A Porsche, 360mph, freeways.
You just won the Nobel,
a paper proving intersection of parallel rays,
and a Grammy for the best music as well.

A 90th minute winner, a free-kick;
chilly weather, Alaska, Aurora Borealis;
life is a big holiday, Mauritius, beach;
your own room, paint it, in mauve or peach.

I want to be a pilot,
Lo! behold, you are in the cockpit,
Yikes! A two headed monster beside you? Tut tut,
move on. I don't want to see this shit.

'Dreams come true', or do they?
Or is it what people just say?
Why on earth will they ever,
you never did a thing about them anyway!

Dream on, dream big.
Set targets, achieve goals, don't stagnate.
Dig, dig more. Within yourself, just dig.
Why should you leave everything to fate?

Make your own dreams my boy,
feel the energy and the rush in achieving them.
They aren't for the night god to toy,
let them be signed with your name.

These are the dreams that matter,
which can change you, your career,
Dream on, keep dreaming, they are yours to make,
just be sure you do this when awake.

Darkness sets in,
far away, a laugh of mirth,
Yes, it was Satan again,
to relieve someone of her pain.

She laughs, still,
not a sign of anguish, betrayal, sorrow,
'Rub all you want', jabbing at his pride and arrogance,
'But the marks can't be erased'.

Is silence the absence of sound,

the fact that there is nothing around.

Maybe like when there is no matter to propagate it through,

or when you feel like the only thing that exists is you.

Or is it something much more than what’s said,

something which doesn’t make you feel dead.

Something which can give warmth in the cold, and shade in the heat,

something which can make your heart skip a beat.

Maybe the sound of roaring sea waves,

or the falling drop of water in caves.

The crushing of dry leaves under a foot,

or the purring of a baby cat, Oh! So cute.

The sound of a footstep in a lonely house,

or the breeze flowing across meadows of cows,

the built up adrenaline, the hushed talk, the rushed thought,

be it between lovers, or among bench-mates about to get caught.

And though its true there is no exchange of a single word,

who says silence can’t be heard?

"Silence is golden", isn't just old wisdom dear,

for me, it’s the best sound I will ever hear.

Who is she? What is she?

How can she, do this to me?

Every mention of her name,

Every hint of her trail,

Every source of her news,

A new ray of hope, it gives.

Should I, should I not?

Is all that goes on, in my thought.

I think she knows, for she can read my face,

But of this, she doesn’t show a trace.

Its like we both are waiting,

To see who wins at this (holding back) race.

If I tell her. What might happen?

The future is an aching mystery.

If I don’t. What might not happen?

I don’t want this to be history.

I wonder,

But then remember,

That somewhere sometime I have read,

Somethings are better left unsaid.

The other day I was in subway, the sandwich/salad chain of restaurants. And there is this facility to add a coke + cookie to your sandwich to avail a meal at a discounted price. So after placing the order for my sandwich, I wanted to tell him to make it a meal.
And as it would have been, I said, “Can you please make a meal out of it!!” And I heard the sentence being spoken (by me, as if I was out of my body as a third person and listening to the conversation), and I was about to go in fits of laughter…!!! With a wide smile, I proceeded on to tell him the choice of the soft drink and the cookie, all the while laughing at my own self. Lucky for me, the man didn’t get the joke..

As a player you relish every opportunity to play, and maybe showcase your skills and talents. Or even to just put up a show. Either good or bad. And since the opportunities aren’t many, you relish the ones you get very fondly. Since the onset of the 4 year degree course, I have taken part in many events to just get the feel of playing an organized match. And let me tell you, its awesome! The very thought of playing in front of a crowd, while you are playing in the centre, its just too good! Ofcourse, not always can you put up a great show, but then there are these moments that you feel, well, you own them. That they are totally yours, that you made them happen. And in the maybe 30-40 odd matches I have been involved in, I do have some fond memories. I am not retiring or giving up my play but just felt that I had to write about this, maybe just for myself, so that later on I can remember this time and relive it. Sadly, I don’t have photos or videos of the same, but well, I will try to create a picture nonetheless.
The one thing about football I love is that there are so many tournaments, and that its such a quick game, and is so very widely accepted, that you are recognized everywhere you go. And then there are so many forms of the same game, with the full game with 11 players a side, the 7 a side, the 6 a side, the 3 a side, that you have live matches going on always. Ofcourse, its not possible to participate in all, but we did try our best to gather our finest for most events. And football being a team event, you have to be careful in picking your team-mates too, since a lone one man show being put up is rare, and you have to co-ordinate and synchronize to bring the best out from the team.
Well, so ya, it was the final year, and the last three years, we hadn’t managed to bring together a formidable team. We always tried to get the best together, but somehow something always changed right at the end, and we had to reconsider the team.
It was the 6 a side tournament in PVG, one of the best I played in so far. Great atmosphere, great ground, great teams, great organization. All in all the perfect conditions one can ask for. We had finally got our mathematics right, and had put up the best team, with the likes of Amey Jundare, Alhad Sapre, Pushkar Paranjape, Rohan Soman, Sohan Tawde, Kaustubh Surdi, Advait Vaidya, Vidish Paradkar and me. I guess this was the best of the best ever. And we had very high hopes, because this time it all started well in advance, unlike our other times, when we literally called up people at the last moment, and then ran over to play the game.
We had two practice sessions, that too on hard court, and that itself was so much fun. And we had recognized that well, where all can we play our players and how to go about the tournament. Till then, we had never ever passed the 2nd round, and this time we had high hopes from ourselves. And the usually relaxed and disinterested public showed lot of enthusiasm. So it was all looking bright for our team.
We reached the ground as decided and were happy to see that the usual set up was in store, and it was going to be one awesome match. We went to the desk, registered our team and then enquired about our opponents. And it was the biggest shock, cause we were pitted against the best team in Pune, with 3 players who are known to wreck havoc everywhere they go against their opponents. And suddenly the air got warm, and the happy faces wore a forlorn look, as the team members came to know about this. But well, as it stood, there was no getting out of this, and we had to face this. So well then, here we were. It was like kind of accepted that we will lose the match, so that way we had nothing to lose. We all huddled up for our pre match talk, and we were laughing at our plight in a way. But then, since we had nothing to lose, we said, well, lets show them, what we are. It was sort of a lame sentence in such a situation, maybe like trying to challenge a lion with bare hands. But there was no other way to escape. So well, we cheered ourselves up, and went ahead into the field.
Ironically, we had the maximum support, and a lot of people whom I know will never ever come to witness a match, had gathered together to see us play. Well, I guess it was like people had come to see us off for the last time. It was very funny in a way, and I was kind of laughing at times. But well, being as senior player as everyone, we had to do what we had to do.
We lined up, with Rohan in between the sticks, Ameya and Advait at the back, me in the centre, and Sohan and Kaustubh at the forward. We started with the whole crowd cheering for us, and it was a great feeling. It was like 2-3 mintutes in the game, and we got the first taste of what we had to endure in the match. Their players, more specifically their forward was bursting down the middle, and taking such monstrous shots that it was quite certain that we could hold on for long. But we were playing our hearts out, and I don’t know if I have ever concentrated so much, shouted so much, run so much, defended so well, without any other thought entering my mind. And I could see the same commitment in everyone’s eyes. It was a great feeling. Rohan was pulling off saves after saves, and maybe for the first time, we were in awe of his goal keeping skills. Advait with his strength was keeping their striker (a big huge person himself) under control. We were hardly going forward, but whatever we did, we tried our best. They were controlling the whole game, the whole pace of it, and it was hard to not falter. But like iron men, we stood, not letting one mistake pass by us. Then as 10 minutes passed, a mistake, and bam, a goal. The whole crowd went oohhhhhhhh…!!! And thought, that well, now the flood gates are going to open. We to had a ill feeling, but didn’t let it show. 2 minutes later, 2 more shots, one hitting the post, one turned over for a corner. Our defenses were falling apart. But we held on, nonetheless. We remained strong, not letting anything else in the world affect us. And then it happened. A shot, it got blocked by me somehow, I cleared it, Alhad flicked it on, it fell at our strikers feet (Tawde), and he volleyed it past their keeper. No one in their wildest imagination hadn’t imagined this. Not even us, and the goal sort of brought us all back to life. We suddenly saw hope again. The whole crowd was cheering us again, and it felt that well, we can do it…!!! The 25 minutes of the half passed, in tense and exciting atmosphere. And we all came outside for a breather. People were coming over, patting us on our backs for keeping so strong at the back. We cheered ourselves up, we were already so pumped up. Our subs were rolling in and out through the half, namely, Alhad, Vidish and Pushkar. The second half started, and we were again on our backfeet. Defending like crazy, and attacking when we could hold on to the ball. We had two three chances through the match, other than that, it was nothing. Like it was decided, I went a little ahead, to catch them in the centre itself, and was quite successful in holding them till the centre itself. But not for long, as the shots kept coming, and Rohan kept parrying them away. We were just clearing the ball away whenever we saw as much as even an inch of the ball, in any damn direction. It was already 15 minutes up in the second half, and we could see the desperation on the opponents faces. Then a corner, and three back to back shots rained on our goal, with the first two getting blocked by our defenders, and the last a reflex strong hand save from Rohan. It was awesome to see the turn of events. I was already getting tired, as I was tailing their playmaker everywhere and asked for a quick sub. 2 minutes left, and it was all looking like we were heading for a penalty shootout. And then suddenly the world came crashing, as a shot from their striker found a way to the back of the net. It was as if someone had shown us the best dream, and snatched it away as soon as we had started to think that maybe, this will turn out to be true. The goal went in, and the whole crowd was like oooohhhhhhhhhhhh again..!!! The match resumed, and the final whistle blew almost immediately. Final score 1-2. But the faces of the opposition said it all. It was a relief more than a victory feeling on their faces. Never had I seen any of our players play with so much heart and so much commitment than in this match. But it was worth it, just to see that look on the oppositions faces. It made our day, and we were like we had won the trophy!
The opposite team went on to win the cup, and on their way, thrashed around teams with 3-4 goal margins. But never did they come so close than what they faced in the first round. Something which maybe they never expected.
It is always said that victory is sweet, but for us all, that match, despite the loss, was one of the best things ever happening on the field. I have played many matches, but yes, this remains among the top most. And surely the best in which we have lost! You had to be there to feel the heat, the desire and the tension in the eyes of everyone to know how it felt!

Distant people

laugh away.

In their own little worlds

they stay.

Not an eye I catch

coming my way,

neither a smile, nor a heads up,

not even a ‘Hi’ they say.

I look aside,

to see an ant.

With the crowd leading and following it,

what else can it want.

I witness a stone

dead, inanimate, totally on its own.

But wait! This has got friends too,

with the moss not letting it be alone.

I look up at the moon,

surely this cant have a door to knock.

But just as I am about to find a deserted kin,

a cloud covers it up to have a private talk.

What use are my intellect, my opposable thumb,

and the fact that I have an erect back, you see

I am worse than the smallest creature, and the inanimate rock,

I wonder, if being an ape was the best life for me.

- Is it wrong to treat women as object?
>Yes..!!
-Why?
>Do you ever understand women?
-No!
>That's because god declared them as abstract. Thay were never meant to be objectified...

-Hello!! Support? My MS-Excel is not opening. Any solution?

> Try double clicking the icon. It almost always works...!!

Will you marry me?
No
SUDO Marry me
Ok

Finally, we got humans to fear us about atleast something...

Does Sunny Deol tell Superman, "Ye baahar ki baat hai???"

I stare at you,
staring into oblivion.
Those sparkling eyes,
so sinful, yet so innocent.
They catch me offguard.
I try to look away
the gaze, frightening
the power, mesmerizing
the potence, feline;
I feel my eyes burn,
and yet I can’t retract.
I pity the sighted,
for not seeing this spectacle.
And as I rejoice in triumph,
I see no more.

I am the son of the sand,
Unburned, sun-burned
I run, searching, questioning, wandering
for things I possess
I am pushed, hassled, jostled, ordered, advised
But my own master I am
I am a friend to all
Yet friendless
I thrive for adventure, for novelties
Which are for me but a mystery
I play and work, both separate,
Not gay yet, but happy surely
I am loathing, proud, arrogant, selfish, angry
Though line 7 I quote carelessly
I don’t know the what, the why, the how, the when, the where
Yet I always have the answer somehow
I want to kill, or atleast try, somehow, sometimes
The idea itself is enticing
On other days,
I just don’t care
I am a self inspired lodestone
Not iron, magnetized temporarily
Lifeless, poisonous
Elixirous, almighty,
Myself, I, me

I am sorry to say, you can't get benefits from both your father and uncle. Multiple Inheritance is prohibited...

The good old cross and naughts...