Currently my third year end of semester exams are going on. And it’s the usual situation, with lots of last minute studies left, many things left untouched. Calling up friends and checking and rechecking the exact stuff required to be done for the exam, collecting the required material to study a day before the exam and so on. And as the years have gone by, everyone is getting more and more relaxed and comfortable with this approach. No one gives a shit to do all this weeks earlier... Why?

Since schooling began, the one major worry of students and parents alike is exams. Parents take leave from work, all activities of the child are stopped as the exams come closer and closer. Students stop coming out of their house to play, outside food, hotelling (a cheap term indeed) is banned for a few weeks. Then everyday the child is made to slog, with the whole house bearing down expectations on him... And if he is an over-achiever, gods save him.

As the years progress and until he finishes his 12th, the expectations and the burden just go on increasing...

Post 12th however, atleast in the engineering phase I have witnessed in my life, I have observed that the level of seriousness, the tensions, the gravity of exams just loses its worth and that too quite suddenly. I mean I don’t know why, but since after coming to engineering, the exams have never given me the same amount of fear as earlier. Ok, I agree that I never did get tensed or nervous before any exam as such. But then, still, there was a bit of seriousness involved. But coming here, it’s a totally different picture. Let us elaborate and analyze that a little more, shall we?

Fine. I guess one of the major reasons is that we have exams, like almost every month. So after a 10-15 day breather, it’s exam time once again. Many a times we haven’t even got the result of the earlier exam, when we are giving the next one. The class tests are a real joke. Absolutely no one gives a damn, and when the test is taking place(which sometimes are surprise tests, which is really surprising cause I mean we are doing engineering, its not some 4th or 5th standard for gods sake. When will they realize this...?), it is then that the symbiotic behavior is at its best. Everyone, mark my words, is so helpful and friendly in giving and taking information. Wow! It’s worth a watch really... So these again have lost the meaning and have made the exams lose their status.

So the frequency of exams maybe perceived as a reason. But then that was the case during school life too.

Another thing is the days in which a book, almost 600pages can be digested in. It used to take hours of study for a month or so to study in school in 9th or 10th. But upon coming to engineering, we have become magicians. A one read is just enough. If you have read everything twice, then mostly you are the class topper. Has the retention power increased so much over the years?

The seriousness levels. Hehehehehe… I mean I can’t even utter this line seriously. I don’t know if I m a fool, but seriously, no one is serious. None at all. A week before the exam, people are attending functions, weddings, are on holidays, going to concerts, playing like mad, making projects and doing all stuff totally unrelated to the syllabus. While this would have just been a sin were it done 5yrs back. What’s with this? Why is no one serious? Everyone takes the 'Que Sara Sara, whatever will be will be' attitude. It’s only the day (mostly the night) before the exam that everyone goes through the stuff. And you have to write everything the next day and you are done with it. And actually, we all achieve the aim this way.

I m totally cool nowadays around exam time. Actually speaking, I like the exam period more. Because you have no college to attend, so you can sleep and get up whenever you want. You have to sit at home and supposedly study. So no one puts any responsibility on you. Then you say you need the fresh air. You fall out in the evening. I mean it’s heavenly. I adore exam time (barring the actual exam and the results).

I don’t know. Maybe this is a wrong approach. The other day, my friend and I were discussing the same thing. That why do we feel we have 'lost it' suddenly. I was never a hard worker, was never a geek or a nerd. But I always did the required thing and came out in great shape. But the pattern, or the system, or the torture or don’t know what accompanied with engineering really takes the steam out of you. It turns you into a pachyderm. You don’t get affected by anything around you. You have that 'X'* attitude around you. And somehow you enjoy it. Or so has been the case with me.

It’s bad. I know it’s bad. I m trying to change. I m trying to revive myself, trying to pull myself up. But the quicksand under me just isn’t allowing me. What all with the vivas, the practicals, the projects and the deadlines, the aptitude tests and interviews, the class tests, the submissions and file completions, the seminars, the case studies, the pattern change, the semester timings change and what not in a 2 weeks span made me so miserable. And it really was visible on everyone’s faces. I don’t know if this is what engineering demands. I don’t know if engineering is meant to trouble children ahead of the exams itself than during it. I don’t know if this is what makes us ready for the future. I don’t know if this will be the life ahead and all this is just a start. But I certainly do hope and wish that it shouldn’t be introduced in this way. There must surely be some other way to go around and tackle this problem.

And if this doesn’t really kill the spark inside you, it is only then that you arise like a phoenix from the ashes. Because let me be frank, the total system is just ashes now...

I have gone from one topic and ended somewhere totally different. So let’s get back to where we started. Though a pointer here, most of the upcoming topics will be concerning this very thing.

As I said, its exam time going on now. Precisely the reason why I felt like creating a blog now. I had decided not to post anything till the next paper gets over. I did keep that promise, but the promise I didn’t keep was not to change the deadlines of the earlier promise. :-)

I hope I did make sense. It is all clear to me, but while putting it in words, I was left stranded many a times, conflicting my own ideas.

All said, I go nowhere from where I was, apparently two hundred lines earlier. But then that’s life. You want change, but you don’t want to accept it when it comes. Who knows, change might be worse. Anyway, I don’t care. Currently I m enjoying, cause its exam time!!

Santa asked: Are you tensed?

I said ya, past perfect!

* - Don’t care