Gag bag

Well, I did talk a shit load of crap (which all the same is all very true) in the earlier post. But on the same topic, I do have a funny flipside.
I have this theory that being a girl or a woman has its plus points too. And that too to a very good extent. Firstly, no one ever ignores you, and that everyone is like crazy to help you. And that no matter what you do, everyone thinks twice before like saying anything against you, scolding you, lest you (as a girl) suddenly start crying or worse still, go to those mahila mukti etc communities (female empowerment societies which help women in trouble by giving all aid needed), which spells instant death for the person in question (i.e., in this case, you).
I also feel that girls in general get good marks in exams. I don’t know why or how the person checking the papers comes to understand that the paper writer is a girl or a boy, but it is a general fact (besides the fact that girls in general are more sincere and write better papers than boys). Now I tried to think of ways to make the examiner believe that I m a girl writing the paper, so that I get better marks.
I obviously couldn’t change my handwriting or my line of thinking if that is the way in which the identity is revealed. But I resorted to other methods. And funnily enough, it worked.
Chinmay (a friend of mine) and I, had worked out this theory while in the 10th standard. We had these letter and essay writing sections in Hindi and Marathi papers. This was the only section where you wrote anything from your own point of view. So here was a chance to maybe make one believe that I was a girl writing the paper and not a boy. Now it was difficult, because we had to use “meri” instead of “mera”, and these types of changes in our papers. Every sentence had to be written very carefully, so that it had all the feminine adjectives and the changes, so that it seemed what we wanted to achieve. And the results we got proved this. Of course now, we can't compare the marks because the same paper can't be checked twice with different points of view, but the general consensus did match our theory. We undoubtedly scored better. Now was it because we wrote the sections better, or because we wrote them from a girl’s point of view, no one knows and can ever find out, but we did achieve what we wanted.
Another good factor is like when buying tickets. In some theatres, there are separate lines for ladies, which is really very less crowded. While in the men’s line, people are going crazy just keeping their balance. And a girl is always more convincing than a boy in the same position. But ya, girls in general are the trouble makers, and bring about the most problematic situations in life. But then ya, that is how the world is..!!!
So well, be whatever you are, cause in either way, you are very lucky that you are still a human being..!!!

I have always been and always will be a strong proponent of female well being, welfare, upliftment and the related topics. I mean I have no such qualms when it comes to cribbing over why is it that males don’t get the same treatment, or rather just the idea that females are given more than what they deserve. Cos even now, in all parts of the world, the treatment is never equal whatever the claims maybe. So as a male, who already gets about enough of accolades for what he does, it’s about time that the works done by ladies too gets appreciated.
Basically all this starts from the home. As they say, the first teacher a child gets is its mom. Then is she ever regarded for this work she does? Besides that, housework. Well don’t even get started on that. I mean one of the most gruesome, tiring, cumbersome, never ending, (and whatever adjectives you can add to) is housework. I still fail to understand how as human beings one can never appreciate the work involved in this task.
And it’s not to be done as work. That’s the hardest part. It’s got to be done with loving care, for it’s done for your own household. And it’s very disheartening to see that this work done by any woman goes waste, and no one even goes that step to say a thank you or a well done for that. I think this should be the job which should be paid most handsomely, because a mother is a multitasking employee. With such skills, one can do wonders in the business world. I mean what not does a housewife do? Cooking, taking care of the children, keeping the house neat and tidy, doing the plates, waking up before everyone to see about their respective timings so that everyone gets what they want on time and no one is late. Still, the love she provides, the pressing of clothes, the laundry, is still not accounted for. If one really looks into this, one will understand that it’s no joke to keep a house in such a way that it’s called a home..!!
So I think what is really given to women, should be appreciated and everyone in the society should strive to help the females get their lot of encouragement. After all, it’s she who is really the one who leads the world. Hence rather than arguing whether or not to implement programmes or drives for their betterment, rather see to it that they are put into force. I am not implying that a woman is weak, but still, it is a very well known fact that she does not have the same physical capacity for work as a man. Then why is it that knowing all this, the work hours for men and women are the same? Doesn’t the government realize that once back home, a man doesn’t need to do any work. However, when a woman comes back home, she has to play the role of a mother and a wife. Which like I have already said, is no easy task. Also, since the development of a child basically depends on the mother, and how much care she takes, the work hours of women should also be adjusted such that they do not take up the whole damn day. Seeing the condition of today, most women working in IT sector leave their homes at 9 am, and by the time they reach home, it’s almost 8pm. How on earth does one expect any human being to work beyond these hours? What about the child at home? Its nourishment, schooling etc are left to the ayahs and the caretakers. Is this what we as humans intend to make of the future generation? Are these the teachings we want to pass on? Isn’t the human race going towards an unwanted path?
Ok, let us consider that today’s competitive world does call for a grueling work schedule. Atleast the government should be flexible enough to provide maternity leave of a longer duration. Also, once the baby is born, the mother should get a very long holiday, till about the time the baby is around 1.5 to 2 yrs old. Maybe pay her only half of what she is due, but don’t get the condition to such a state that she has to work in that time too.
There is always this debate over the balancing of house chores between the husband and the wife. Yes, in the beginning everyone is like, oh ya, sure!! We should always help each other. But does that really happen?
Once both the husband and wife are back home at say 9 pm, is it possible to begin all over by starting the cooking procedure? Then fights start, as to why no one comes home early, why the so called “Mrs.” Has to
work and so on. As a human, she too is entitled to work and have her share of bounty and fun, so it is wrong to argue on this point just because the trend till now says that the man should work and the woman shouldn’t. All these problems, which are basically an origin of the long working hours of the government policy lead to higher divorce rates. It is but natural to fight, because the work already leads to such tensions and stresses, that one prick and the whole anger comes bursting out. So although it is said that the changing lifestyles and different priorities of people are leading to such things, I think it is rather the similar interests of people in general leading to such problems.
A girl child was denied education till of late, saying what was the use of the whole idea? We are starting to climb out of that cocoon. Now there are still doubts as to till what age should a woman work, or in some places, should she work at all? We all learn that to live peacefully and happily in today’s world, it is important to understand one another. And it’s really the need of the hour. The problem among people is that they fail to realize that there are problems bothering other people as well, and not just them. There are thousands of tensions, beginning from the very basic, like ‘what clothes do I wear today?’, or ‘what should I eat for dinner today?’ to the very complex which at present have no clue, but can just maybe imagine how they would be. People don’t roam about carrying sign posts of their grievances, but all have them, maybe of different degrees at the most. So instead of like crying out loud saying how lucky the others are and how difficult everyone makes life for them, abusing people, finding out mistakes in other peoples work just so that you get an outlet for your own problems, and just so that you feel good about yourself; I think it’s important to realize that the other person too is going through the same situation. So, instead of making matters worse, just talk out your problems. Meet your friends; discuss happy things, because these kind of things always go on. Instead of brooding over the sad things, make yourself happy to such an extent that you overshadow the sad ones.
The point behind this earlier paragraph was that the brunt of the abuse and shouting etc is borne by the women. Somebody has got to understand both the sides, and has got to act on this? It’s not that this is the picture everywhere, there are many households where all gears are working just smoothly, but this is the general picture. Hopefully everyone reading this understands that the whole idea behind making anything work is to keep everything running as smoothly as possible. Hence, try to be as smooth, as calm, and as placid as possible. Of course it is not possible to be like a sage forever, but if you maintain a very happy state, you yourself will be rewarded with a very smooth functioning environment, and a good healthy life. As a vent to all the dissatisfaction, don’t be rude or angry on someone else. Talk it out, or learn to forget and forgive. Living in today’s world is quite a task in itself; see to it that you don’t make it more difficult. Just be as acceptable, as loving and as caring as possible. Try to chill out in life. Don’t get too high or too low. Maintain your emotions to a very steady level. It makes people around feel comfortable too, because they feel like everything is under control. And as a human being, we just like being in that state, or like to have a leader or a figure that helps us in maintaining composure. So be the leader or the follower, whatever may suit you, but be one of this group. It will avoid the now quite often heart ailment due to too much worry.
At the end of the day, of course, it does boil down to the character one possesses, but with a little bit of sacrifice, and a little bit of work in maintaining a healthy relation, we can make loads of things work. Try it; you will see that there is a lot of goodwill you will get at the end of this road. And yes, I am not saying that all this should be done by the male alone. A woman too should be willing to work things out. Understand the differences, and think from the point of view of two three people before acting. Don’t be sorry or shy or late to apologize. Be open to thank, and always have a smile to give to any person, if you can't give anything else. As I always say, it’s the easiest gift to give, and it doesn’t even cost you a bit.
I know I started all this with the female empowerment and all that, but ya, the final aim is always for the betterment of the society we live in. So if such simple steps can make things work, then why not try? As the
next generation, I think it’s time to think on these lines and understand the gravity of the problems. We have examples galore in front of us, for helping us decide what we don’t want to be, and sometimes for what we
want to be as well. So follow these diligently, mix and match and come up with some new theories of your own, have your own protocols, but see to it that you help each other to help yourself. Because there is more to life than to live it in the best possible way you can. So why not?

Sometimes mistakes or blunders just lead to the best things in life. And this is not just based on a few examples. But we can actually see this happening, in real life too. A person is trying to go about doing one thing. In the path to it, he/she commits a small error. Which eventually leads up to something totally different being created out of it. Which, ironically has a value higher than what was meant to be even without the errors.
Some standing examples can be one like the Leaning tower of Pisa. If it were to be standing straight, no one would have as such bothered to shower it with praises as it receives now. But just because it is leaning, it gets its star status.
Few other examples maybe like mis-minted coins. Normal coins, well ya, who cares about them? But if there is a slight error, like printing the same design on both sides, or getting an offset print, then suddenly the coin is all rare and valuable.
The thing to learn is that what we think are mistakes, may not be how it actually turns out to be. Who are we to decide what’s wrong or right? I mean aren’t we the ones who set the rules? Then how can we be so sure that they are right and have to be followed? To make something unique, to be different is trying out something totally unthinkable. It’s not easy to break the mainstream; it’s not easy to be not normal. But whenever you do make an error, instead of snap judging yourself, try to be accepting and tolerant. Rather the people and society around should be doing that. We all know the story of how tea or curd was first discovered. Was it predecided that such a thing be made? No. But it did lead to creating something behind which the whole world is crazy.
Its always very important to understand that whatever we do is for our own happiness. So if we feel that a thing is right, we should just go about doing it. And errors cannot be made purposely. But if made, try to get something good out of it. Improving on your errors is the best path chosen, because miracles cannot occur every day. But you never know when the next ones due, right?
Failures are the stepping stones to success. If we never failed, if we were always perfect, then we would never yearn to better ourselves. But because we falter, because we commit mistakes, we remember to rectify them the next time. We all must have gone through this feeling while in an exam. During the first test, we commit a mistake. When we see it, we realize how stupid we were to make that mistake, however silly it may be. The next time the same question comes, we ll never commit the same error.
In society we are out judging people just knowing a few facts about them. We always point out the flaws in people. Why can’t we just appreciate people for what they are? It’s long known that like poles don’t attract each other. So in order to complete us, isn’t it necessary that there is someone who is different from us, rather than someone who is just like us? Memories about normal things hardly are long lasting. But it is the weird things that the person does, or possesses in his/her personality that strikes us and remains etched forever. Aren’t these imperfections as well? But we never perceive them as such do we?
Eventually I don’t know why, but I always do boil down to the same end. That is, we got to appreciate the smaller things in life. And piling these up, we can make one great wholesome life. Life is short. Days, weeks, months, years just pass you by. Instead of cribbing over what has happened or what is going on, enjoy it. Moments which go past never come back. So don't try to push away or mend the imperfections if you cannot define them as wrong as such. Rather, accept them. It’s easier, and it causes no ill feelings.
Remember, nothing is perfect, but the imperfect is as close as we can get to it. So be there, do that. You will live a much happier and healthier life...

This is something very stupid. But it just occurred to me. Suppose my clock is set to a time say 5 mins ahead of the actual IST. Now a little lag or lead is bound to occur. Similarly there may be someone else with a lag of say 5 mins. Many of us set the time after checking with our own friends, or sometimes is the aeroplane, when the pilot announces the time on landing. That may be another 5 mins lagging the already lagging time. This way, it can go on and on, and I wonder if like in one time zone itself, there are like people living with time gaps of upto 40 mins or so. Considering this above condition, I think this is quite possible. Now still, how do we check with each other. I think hence, the best way to like co-ordinate is to tell the time gap rather than the actual time. That way, people will be on time even if like their clock times differ by many mins. For example, if you want to fix a meeting or a game of football, instead of saying meet at 5:15, we should say, meet after 45 mins exactly. So we should give the relative timings rather than absolution. Actually, considering the complexity in everything now-a-days, I think relativity everywhere is quite necessary. To avoid lots of confusion.
In short, the time lags or leads which I think arre present, should not lead to problems. No matter what time zone you live in, the time you follow will be the time for you...

We are given the greatest gift, that of sight. And its a miracle that we can discern so much with those two organs called eyes. We can see everything palpable, and can let our mysteries be resolved. As a sense, its one of the most important ones...
But the funny thing is, in spite of this beautiful gift, the part or thing which we can least see in our lifetime is our back side. Its impossible to view it without a mirror. And we don't take so much of pains to accomplish that. The thing to say is that though we see all of the world, and things beyond the world as well with our eyes, its quite ironic that we can't and don't see something so close by..!!!! And hence a part so close-by and so very personal is still a mystery to us...!!!
We atleast see our faces in mirrors, but in this as well, we are totally cheated by the mirror. We see what is on our left as our right, and if we comb our hair one way, they actually have been combed the other way.
But our back side, we don't even try see it!! For example the back of our head, which is impossible to see even with a mirror. You need two mirrors..!!! Wow..!!! What a confused and deceiving world we live in..!!!!

Computer games are a one thing which totally mesmerizes every child, and its not just the children, people of all ages get attracted to them. And people actually achieve great heights in it. There are online games, competitions, and even prizes worth thousands at stake. So now the innocence in the play and the approach to it is lost I feel, and the vying goes to much higher levels.

I too have played ands still play my share of games. And of all the genres, I love and play the strategy and sport the most. Many others I haven’t tried, and maybe will never try. And I am not great in any of these games. I came to know about it when I saw LAN games being played in our college. And boy! Don’t people play to extreme levels? But I never played so much of the games, and I realized that my approach to playing these games has been totally different. As far as strategy games go, the main thing is to like defeat the opponent with a stronger army, stronger weapons or that sorts. Or earn lots more points, money or whatever is the objective of the game. So once that objective is over, the game gets over.

Well, I never play these games to win. I mean I do, but that is not my sole motive. Now I will furnish this with an example, so that it becomes clear. For instance, Age of empires. I am sure you have heard that name. If you haven’t, then really, you have no right to live. Hehe. But ya, so in age of empires, what people do is create their town very quickly, and annihilate the opponents. But I like to savour all the facilities provided. I never build my town in a haywire manner. I love to arrange the buildings in a very systematic way. Like the houses should all be together, and then the academic and templar buildings should be near the houses, but not to near. Then the army etc should be surrounding the residential area. The wall should be atleast some minimum distance away from any building. I usually build a three walled wall. With bombard towers placed strategically so that their areas of coverage don’t overlap, and still they don’t leave any area insecure. And then the bombard towers can’t be attacked directly by infantry or cavalry since there is a wall separating them both. Then the farms are a little outside near the forest etc, and near the water source. In short I like to have a big area in which I can arrange all stuff very very nicely, so that anyone will be proud to see such a village.

Now you may come up with a point that there is no time for all these niceties since the others attack in the meantime. Hence, I never play with more than 2 opponents. Then I play at the easiest level. So that I don’t get bothered while decorating all this. And this is the approach I use every time I play.

Then while attacking, I send the troops in a very nice formation. And send the army on three sides. And attack together. And it feels so nice to play this way, because you feel like you can really vanquish the enemy this way. Again, I love to perform conversions a lot. And hence have a whole army of priests at my disposal. I know people hardly use priests and missionaries, but I love using all those.

Then again, I found another thing I love doing is pitting the different war characters in it against one another. In a race I mean. It really is wonderful. And I send them from one corner to another, and had at one time actually calculated the speed of each animal or infantry or whatever different men are present in it. I don’t know why, but this is the way I enjoy playing.

Take another example. Transport Tycoon Deluxe. By far the best, most addictive game I have played till now. In it you have to own a transport company, and set up rail, road, ship and air travels by building stations and airports etc in cities. There are bridges and tunnels and all that in it. It’s just wonderful. In that too, I never built or used the roads already provided. I built all the roads myself, and all were at their most lengths straight. So that the buses attain their maximum speeds on them. There were never rail and road crossings, because the buses used to get run over by trains in that case J. Even the station and the airport etc were stationed so that they will be in the core cities. As you advanced, you got faster and stronger vehicles. But I never replaced all the vehicles. I used to keep one of each type till the end. And continue their services. It was fun seeing the buses overtake their older counterparts. The thing is that I hate a mess of roads and rails as I saw the computer bots in it built. Or even the other people I have seen play. I like things very systematic and very orderly. I know it beats the purpose of the game, but then, there are never directions as to how to play. So as far as I am enjoying there should be no problem. Just wanted to ask, does anyone have any such weird ways of playing any games, which totally beat the purpose?

Anyway, nothing great, but just thought that it’s weird and hence felt like sharing it. The thing which triggered this is the competitions they show on TV about LAN games like AOE, CS and the likes being played. So this thought..!!!

There is something about standing in the queues that always humors me. And again, this is one thing I have sort of understood lately, observed lately, and looking back, I can relate it to almost every queue or line or sort of ordered collection or giving out of stuff, be it whatever.
Ok, so let me get to the point first, and then I ll furnish the same with examples to establish what I am saying.
I was in line to pay the electricity bill, and there were quite a few number of people (around 7-8) behind me. I too wasn't the first in line, and hence had time to observe the behavior of people. The first thing which strikes you about everyone is that they get pissed off standing in the line. I mean how-much-ever long the line maybe, they are never happy. Everyone wants to be first. But of course that is hardly possible in a country like India, so well, every Ram, Laxman and Bharat has to stand in line. Each one stands in his/her own way, cross legged, a little out of line, some with their hands on their hips, others with crossed hands. Every person acts or tries to act nonchalant. You know atleast one person in the line is looking at you or just glancing past you. But you act as if you don't care, or you never know you are being watched. And it is here that I came to know that each person becomes aware of the thing he is going to submit. Like for instance with the bill, it here here that every person starts reading it as though it is of great importance and he/she ll never get a second chance to read it or go through it again. The same bill lying at their place for like 10 days never mattered. But here it is the object of utmost importance. You start reading the intricate detail, even the small print you never bothered to even look at. Maybe its just something you do to while away your time while in the queue, but everyone does do it. And its not just here. Even when like submitting your answer sheet, you have that little instinct in you to just read a bit before actually handing it over to the invigilator. Or in a bank or in the students section in college, while giving up the form, you feel like taking a last glance, as if bidding your last adieu. Is it the disappointment of the parting, one can never say, but this is a really interesting habit I came across in people!!!
Another habit I came across in people is trying to take a look at what the person next in line is doing. Or what all he/she has filled in her form. Here, the peeping person will try to adopt different techniques, like acting as if he is looking in his paper/form, but actually trying to view the form of the other person through the corner of his eye. Maybe moving a little outside the line, so that he/she gets a better view. And then, you judge the person on how that person has filled the form. Or maybe, help yourself to some praise. Like in a bill line, if the other person has an extravagant bill, you comment yourself saying, " Wow! I saved so much considering this persons bill!" Or in a school admission line, one might say, "Hehe! I got more than him surely in the last semester."
Such are the different facets one gets to observe just standing in the line for 20mins. Its no wonder, human psychology is such a sought after study area. After all, it has so much scope, as you come across it almost at every corner and turn. One thing is sure though, that while standing in a line the next time, instead of acting like you are reading your paper/form, you can adopt this new habit of trying to decipher the techniques adopted by other people to act cool..!! Maybe, you can come up with more such nuances seen in the human behavior!!!

Santa : Kyu khade ho idhar? Yaha to kitni lambi katar hai!
I said, "Kyu ki ye queue hai..!!! Yahi to logon ke behavior ke P, Q, R, S dekhne milte hai!!"