Gag bag

Darkness sets in,
far away, a laugh of mirth,
Yes, it was Satan again,
to relieve someone of her pain.

She laughs, still,
not a sign of anguish, betrayal, sorrow,
'Rub all you want', jabbing at his pride and arrogance,
'But the marks can't be erased'.

Is silence the absence of sound,

the fact that there is nothing around.

Maybe like when there is no matter to propagate it through,

or when you feel like the only thing that exists is you.

Or is it something much more than what’s said,

something which doesn’t make you feel dead.

Something which can give warmth in the cold, and shade in the heat,

something which can make your heart skip a beat.

Maybe the sound of roaring sea waves,

or the falling drop of water in caves.

The crushing of dry leaves under a foot,

or the purring of a baby cat, Oh! So cute.

The sound of a footstep in a lonely house,

or the breeze flowing across meadows of cows,

the built up adrenaline, the hushed talk, the rushed thought,

be it between lovers, or among bench-mates about to get caught.

And though its true there is no exchange of a single word,

who says silence can’t be heard?

"Silence is golden", isn't just old wisdom dear,

for me, it’s the best sound I will ever hear.

Who is she? What is she?

How can she, do this to me?

Every mention of her name,

Every hint of her trail,

Every source of her news,

A new ray of hope, it gives.

Should I, should I not?

Is all that goes on, in my thought.

I think she knows, for she can read my face,

But of this, she doesn’t show a trace.

Its like we both are waiting,

To see who wins at this (holding back) race.

If I tell her. What might happen?

The future is an aching mystery.

If I don’t. What might not happen?

I don’t want this to be history.

I wonder,

But then remember,

That somewhere sometime I have read,

Somethings are better left unsaid.

The other day I was in subway, the sandwich/salad chain of restaurants. And there is this facility to add a coke + cookie to your sandwich to avail a meal at a discounted price. So after placing the order for my sandwich, I wanted to tell him to make it a meal.
And as it would have been, I said, “Can you please make a meal out of it!!” And I heard the sentence being spoken (by me, as if I was out of my body as a third person and listening to the conversation), and I was about to go in fits of laughter…!!! With a wide smile, I proceeded on to tell him the choice of the soft drink and the cookie, all the while laughing at my own self. Lucky for me, the man didn’t get the joke..

As a player you relish every opportunity to play, and maybe showcase your skills and talents. Or even to just put up a show. Either good or bad. And since the opportunities aren’t many, you relish the ones you get very fondly. Since the onset of the 4 year degree course, I have taken part in many events to just get the feel of playing an organized match. And let me tell you, its awesome! The very thought of playing in front of a crowd, while you are playing in the centre, its just too good! Ofcourse, not always can you put up a great show, but then there are these moments that you feel, well, you own them. That they are totally yours, that you made them happen. And in the maybe 30-40 odd matches I have been involved in, I do have some fond memories. I am not retiring or giving up my play but just felt that I had to write about this, maybe just for myself, so that later on I can remember this time and relive it. Sadly, I don’t have photos or videos of the same, but well, I will try to create a picture nonetheless.
The one thing about football I love is that there are so many tournaments, and that its such a quick game, and is so very widely accepted, that you are recognized everywhere you go. And then there are so many forms of the same game, with the full game with 11 players a side, the 7 a side, the 6 a side, the 3 a side, that you have live matches going on always. Ofcourse, its not possible to participate in all, but we did try our best to gather our finest for most events. And football being a team event, you have to be careful in picking your team-mates too, since a lone one man show being put up is rare, and you have to co-ordinate and synchronize to bring the best out from the team.
Well, so ya, it was the final year, and the last three years, we hadn’t managed to bring together a formidable team. We always tried to get the best together, but somehow something always changed right at the end, and we had to reconsider the team.
It was the 6 a side tournament in PVG, one of the best I played in so far. Great atmosphere, great ground, great teams, great organization. All in all the perfect conditions one can ask for. We had finally got our mathematics right, and had put up the best team, with the likes of Amey Jundare, Alhad Sapre, Pushkar Paranjape, Rohan Soman, Sohan Tawde, Kaustubh Surdi, Advait Vaidya, Vidish Paradkar and me. I guess this was the best of the best ever. And we had very high hopes, because this time it all started well in advance, unlike our other times, when we literally called up people at the last moment, and then ran over to play the game.
We had two practice sessions, that too on hard court, and that itself was so much fun. And we had recognized that well, where all can we play our players and how to go about the tournament. Till then, we had never ever passed the 2nd round, and this time we had high hopes from ourselves. And the usually relaxed and disinterested public showed lot of enthusiasm. So it was all looking bright for our team.
We reached the ground as decided and were happy to see that the usual set up was in store, and it was going to be one awesome match. We went to the desk, registered our team and then enquired about our opponents. And it was the biggest shock, cause we were pitted against the best team in Pune, with 3 players who are known to wreck havoc everywhere they go against their opponents. And suddenly the air got warm, and the happy faces wore a forlorn look, as the team members came to know about this. But well, as it stood, there was no getting out of this, and we had to face this. So well then, here we were. It was like kind of accepted that we will lose the match, so that way we had nothing to lose. We all huddled up for our pre match talk, and we were laughing at our plight in a way. But then, since we had nothing to lose, we said, well, lets show them, what we are. It was sort of a lame sentence in such a situation, maybe like trying to challenge a lion with bare hands. But there was no other way to escape. So well, we cheered ourselves up, and went ahead into the field.
Ironically, we had the maximum support, and a lot of people whom I know will never ever come to witness a match, had gathered together to see us play. Well, I guess it was like people had come to see us off for the last time. It was very funny in a way, and I was kind of laughing at times. But well, being as senior player as everyone, we had to do what we had to do.
We lined up, with Rohan in between the sticks, Ameya and Advait at the back, me in the centre, and Sohan and Kaustubh at the forward. We started with the whole crowd cheering for us, and it was a great feeling. It was like 2-3 mintutes in the game, and we got the first taste of what we had to endure in the match. Their players, more specifically their forward was bursting down the middle, and taking such monstrous shots that it was quite certain that we could hold on for long. But we were playing our hearts out, and I don’t know if I have ever concentrated so much, shouted so much, run so much, defended so well, without any other thought entering my mind. And I could see the same commitment in everyone’s eyes. It was a great feeling. Rohan was pulling off saves after saves, and maybe for the first time, we were in awe of his goal keeping skills. Advait with his strength was keeping their striker (a big huge person himself) under control. We were hardly going forward, but whatever we did, we tried our best. They were controlling the whole game, the whole pace of it, and it was hard to not falter. But like iron men, we stood, not letting one mistake pass by us. Then as 10 minutes passed, a mistake, and bam, a goal. The whole crowd went oohhhhhhhh…!!! And thought, that well, now the flood gates are going to open. We to had a ill feeling, but didn’t let it show. 2 minutes later, 2 more shots, one hitting the post, one turned over for a corner. Our defenses were falling apart. But we held on, nonetheless. We remained strong, not letting anything else in the world affect us. And then it happened. A shot, it got blocked by me somehow, I cleared it, Alhad flicked it on, it fell at our strikers feet (Tawde), and he volleyed it past their keeper. No one in their wildest imagination hadn’t imagined this. Not even us, and the goal sort of brought us all back to life. We suddenly saw hope again. The whole crowd was cheering us again, and it felt that well, we can do it…!!! The 25 minutes of the half passed, in tense and exciting atmosphere. And we all came outside for a breather. People were coming over, patting us on our backs for keeping so strong at the back. We cheered ourselves up, we were already so pumped up. Our subs were rolling in and out through the half, namely, Alhad, Vidish and Pushkar. The second half started, and we were again on our backfeet. Defending like crazy, and attacking when we could hold on to the ball. We had two three chances through the match, other than that, it was nothing. Like it was decided, I went a little ahead, to catch them in the centre itself, and was quite successful in holding them till the centre itself. But not for long, as the shots kept coming, and Rohan kept parrying them away. We were just clearing the ball away whenever we saw as much as even an inch of the ball, in any damn direction. It was already 15 minutes up in the second half, and we could see the desperation on the opponents faces. Then a corner, and three back to back shots rained on our goal, with the first two getting blocked by our defenders, and the last a reflex strong hand save from Rohan. It was awesome to see the turn of events. I was already getting tired, as I was tailing their playmaker everywhere and asked for a quick sub. 2 minutes left, and it was all looking like we were heading for a penalty shootout. And then suddenly the world came crashing, as a shot from their striker found a way to the back of the net. It was as if someone had shown us the best dream, and snatched it away as soon as we had started to think that maybe, this will turn out to be true. The goal went in, and the whole crowd was like oooohhhhhhhhhhhh again..!!! The match resumed, and the final whistle blew almost immediately. Final score 1-2. But the faces of the opposition said it all. It was a relief more than a victory feeling on their faces. Never had I seen any of our players play with so much heart and so much commitment than in this match. But it was worth it, just to see that look on the oppositions faces. It made our day, and we were like we had won the trophy!
The opposite team went on to win the cup, and on their way, thrashed around teams with 3-4 goal margins. But never did they come so close than what they faced in the first round. Something which maybe they never expected.
It is always said that victory is sweet, but for us all, that match, despite the loss, was one of the best things ever happening on the field. I have played many matches, but yes, this remains among the top most. And surely the best in which we have lost! You had to be there to feel the heat, the desire and the tension in the eyes of everyone to know how it felt!

Distant people

laugh away.

In their own little worlds

they stay.

Not an eye I catch

coming my way,

neither a smile, nor a heads up,

not even a ‘Hi’ they say.

I look aside,

to see an ant.

With the crowd leading and following it,

what else can it want.

I witness a stone

dead, inanimate, totally on its own.

But wait! This has got friends too,

with the moss not letting it be alone.

I look up at the moon,

surely this cant have a door to knock.

But just as I am about to find a deserted kin,

a cloud covers it up to have a private talk.

What use are my intellect, my opposable thumb,

and the fact that I have an erect back, you see

I am worse than the smallest creature, and the inanimate rock,

I wonder, if being an ape was the best life for me.

- Is it wrong to treat women as object?
>Yes..!!
-Why?
>Do you ever understand women?
-No!
>That's because god declared them as abstract. Thay were never meant to be objectified...