Gag bag

अरे, कुणाला सांगू?
कुणाला बोलून दाखवू?
की काय वाटतं मला?
मला बरच काही वाटतं आहे,
पण सांगायची मुभा नाहीये.
आणि मुभा असली
तर समजावून द्यायची संधी नाहीये.
तुम्ही बोलताच,
देतच असता तुमचे थोर उपदेश
पण माहिती असून सुद्धा
तुम्हाला राहवत नाही ना.
अरे, नाही जगायचं मला असं
साधं, सरळ, सुरक्षित, सुरळीत
नाही पटत मला ते.
पण ते तुम्हाला काय समजणार,
तुम्ही ठरलात शहाणे ना,
आणि मी वेडा.
पण तुमचं शहाणपण आणि माझं वेडेपण
हे एकच आहे, हे तुमच्या ध्यानी कसं येणार?
इतकी वर्षं वेडा म्हणूनच काढली की मी
आता अचानक का मला शहाणं करायला निघाला आहात?
तोंड उघडलं की तोंड दिसतं असं म्हणतात,
पण चुप्प बसून सगळं समजून घेण्याऐवजी
उद्धत, उर्मट अश्या पदव्या नक्कीच परवडतील.
पण आपल्याच लोकांना शब्दांच्या बाणांनी मारून
मी तरी काय मिळवू.
म्हणूनच विचारतो, की कुणाला सांगू?
कुणाला बोलून दाखवू?

कुणाचच कसं ऐकत नाही?
नेहमीचीच तक्रार.
हे नाही आवडत, ते नको
हे असं नाही तसं हवं
सगळेच हातापाई यायचे
पाहून हा प्रकार.

आमचा बंड्या फार फार हट्टी,
आणि हो, खूप उद्धत.
लहान-मोठा कुणीही न बघता
देतो उत्तरं उलट.
आई वडील आजी आजोबांसमोर
रेटते बघा कशी जीभ सट-सट.

पण मग तू आलीस
का आलीस तू?
मनमानी सगळीच बंद झाली
मी-मी माझं-माझं सोडून
हो का? बरं-बरं. नक्की अगदी लगेच.
हे सगळं झालं सुरु.

सगळच बदललं नाही का?
मलाच माझा विश्वास बसत नाही.
शांतं झालो सुखी झालो
आपला सोडून इतरांचा विचार करू लगलो.
विनयशील, अभ्यासू, प्रौढ सगळं काही झालो
आणि हो, जवाबदारही.

प्रश्ण पडला की तुला विचारायचो
उत्तर मिळालं की तुला सांगायचो.
इतके वर्ष का नाही पडले प्रश्ण.
खुळा होतो की काय मी?
बहुदा चार भिंतीतच वाढलेलो
तेवढ्यातच जगायचो, तेवढ्यातच वहायचो.

तू सांगितलस म्हणून मी आहे.
तू सांगशील, मी ऐकेन,
माझा प्रश्ण नेहमी असाच सुटेल.
कशाची चिंता नाही, कुणाचीच पडली नाही.
तुझाच आदर, तुलाच सन्मान हे पाहुन
इतरांना मी पुन्हा पूर्वीचाच बंड्या वाटेन.

पण आता तू सांगत नाहीस,
आणि जरी तू सांगत असशील.
तरी मी ऐकत नाही.
पुन्हा मी नुसताच उर्मट आणि नुसताच जिद्दी.
पण ना, हे विसरून पुन्हा एकदा सांग मला,
म्हणजे कदाचित मीही ऐकेन, आणि तुही सांगशील.

You have seen her grow up. You have seen her in her tough times, and otherwise. You have seen her study hard, and being that cute know-it-all. You have seen her stick with her friends through thick and thin, have almost lived every moment in her dorm discussing ways and means in which she could be the best along with her friends. You have looked up to her, as a friend, and always wished that you could be something more. You dream of living that Hogwarts life and share that life with her, maybe ask her out? But you are scared and almost dead certain that your feelings won't be reciprocated. Guess what? There is an easy way to figure all this out. Presenting the 10 signs which could make it almost certain to you whether Emma Watson is into you.




1. Did she act surprised when you bumped into her?
Knowing that she is a sought after celebrity, bumping into her is more than a coincidence. If by some stroke of luck, you do bump into her, there is a good chance that this was not mere luck. She could have been planning to meet you all this while, while you were busy sitting at home and dreaming about her, or watching the Prisoner of Azkaban. So get off that lazy boy young fellow, your dream girl is waiting for you. She may act surprised on meeting you, but keep your own and do play it cool.




2. Did she linger her look at you during a movie shot?
You are sitting at home watching that movie which you so adore, and you could have sworn she lingered her sight on you through the television set. That my dear friend, is one of the classic signs of any girl falling for you, where she is checking you out. Dance and laugh my friend, looks like she is totally into you.



3. Does she wear different clothes everytime you see her?
If you want to impress someone, you go all lengths to make sure you don't miss out on being noticed. Well she is human too, and all she is trying to do is look different everytime you see her. So next time you see her in a completely new attire, don't forget to throw a compliment or two at her, and see how she gives in.



4. Does she play with her hair when you are around?
Girls get nervous around guys whom they have a crush on, and playing with hair is a natural reaction to this feeling. Do try to figure out if she is busy twirling her hair or putting them behind her ear.



5. Does she thank you, even if you aren't really the one who helped her out?
Often times, Emma Watson would thank you in her speeches. Try to recall if you helped her out. If the answer is no, there is a big chance that she is just looking for a way to talk to you. She could try to be subtle and say something like, "I would like to thank all my fans", or "I would like to thank that special someone".



6. Does she dress up sexy for you?
Photo shoots, ramp walks are all just a way to reach you. She just wants to be noticed by you.



7. Is she generally happy or smiling when you are around?
You just bring it out in her. You are what makes her happy, so don't look for anything more.



8. Did completing her education mean more to her than money?
We all know that she is a very good actress. She has it all, money, fame and youth. She could have chosen to stick with her movies and never complete her education. But she knows that its important for your family and you that she is well educated. Well, she did put her career on hold, and this is one of the most important signs that she wants to impress your family and you.




9. Did she earn enough for both of you for a lifetime?
She has made a lot of moolah through her movies. And will continue to do so. But she has made sure that money won't be the issue when it comes to being with you. Now you could be a millionaire yourself, or be a roadside rag, fact is, if she is into you, she will be with you no matter how or what you are.



10. Is she very personal about her private life?
Young celebs can be brash, and can go crazy with the early money. But she has chosen to be very secretive about her life, and part of the reason is that she does not want to make a bad impression. She wants you to know that she is genuine, strong and very committed, and this is one way of her proving this to you. Cheers mate, you have a keeper over here, and will spend time with you till the very end.

There lived this poor girl, let us call her Aarohi. (This is the point where you start to get suspicious). She was blessed with a beautiful voice, but alas, the politics in the music industry were cruel and it did not allow for new young talent to come out and shine without any fee or demands in return. Gone were the days when talent was acknowledged for just what it was. Today, to rise to any point of fame and glory, you needed to sell your soul. Being the sweet good natured girl that she was, she stuck to singing at random hotels and night clubs to earn her daily bread. Her income was low, but she had high aspirations, but the absence of the silver spoon meant years on end at the same dodgy place unless a miracle occurred.

One of the masterpieces of the late Jagjit Singh.
If the word goes out...

Baat nikalegi to phir door talak jayegi,
Log be-vajah udaasi ka sabab poochenge,
Ye bhi poochenge ki tum itni pareshaan kyun ho?

Ungaliyaan uthengi sukhe hue baalon ki taraf,
Ik nazar dekhenge gujre hue saalon ki taraf,
Choodiyon par bhi kai tanz kiye jaenge
Kaapate haaton pe bhi fikre kase jayenge.

Log zaalim hai,har ek baat ka taana denge,
Baaton baaton mein mera jikr bhi le aayenge,
Unki baaton ka zara sa bhi asar mat lena,
Varna chehre ke taasur say samajh jaenge.


Chahe kuch bhi ho, sawaalat na karna unse,
Mere baare mein koi baat na karna unse.

Baat nikalegi to phir door talak jayegi...